Friday, February 22, 2008

Integrated Systems

Thursday morning NPR aired another war-products commercial. Adam Hochberg was at a trade show and took a shine to the Integrated Tourniquet System designed by Blackhawk! Products Group. It's a uniform for soldiers with 8 tourniquets built right into it - a product worthy of the Yes Men. Gosh, what will they think of next. I'm kind of hoping for the Integrated Healthcare System outfit for the uninsured - just pull a tab and voila! you get a complete physical: blood pressure and heart check, prostate exam, urine test, etc. all without ever having to unzip a single zipper - or see a single doctor. Man, you've got to love the inspired NPR News program directors!

Ignoring the superficiality and stupidity of the piece, the way Steve Inskeep introduces the report speaks volumes about the ideology at NPR. He begins the segment with
"Next, let's look at an effort to improve the odds of surviving the war on terror."
Consider a few aspects of this little Inscreepy® statement:
  • "An effort"
It is an effort all right; an effort to make a lot of money off a product that may or may not help soldiers avoid bleeding to death immediately after they've been seriously wounded.
  • "Surviving the war on terror"
What "war on terror"? Could he be talking about the illegal, immoral, stupid, violent and rapacious war in Iraq, launched by the Bush administration and the US government (a war that has by all accounts increased global non-state terror)? And surviving? Most of the nearly 4000 soldiers killed in Iraq (not to mention the 1 million plus Iraqis) might have survived the "war on terror" if news outlets like NPR had done their jobs from the beginning. Where was the skepticism and investigative reporting starting way back in 2002 as the war on Iraq "product line" was launched?

It really is an amazing statement. I can only guess that Inskeep was wearing his nifty DHS Integrated Statement System suit for journalists: put it on, pull the right (far right) tab and everything you say will dovetail nicely with the policies and goals of both the Department of Defense and The Department of Heimat Security.


Porter Melmoth said...

I'm just glad that when those limbs get blown off, our boys and girls don't even need a medic any more. They'll be able to wait in line like everyone else for that R&R in Germany. Hmm, I wonder if morphine auto-inject syringes are integrated into the suit? Big Pharma'll want in, pronto.
Sounds like they're working towards an action-figure suit out of 'Dune'; you know, where even urine and feces aren't a problem. One step closer to Rummy's dream of 'the laptop soldier'!
I wonder if NPR reporters get in on any fringe benefit action that comes along with these military-industrial trade shows, like free booze, sex worker contacts, etc.? I imagine their virtue and observance of 'fairness' might disapprove of such partying.

Anonymous said...

More and more and more and more - these dorks are making the Today Show look like Frontline (yeah yeah, even if I'm transposing mediums).

Haha, Port- ya reminded me of Max Von Sydow's character in the Lynch film giving instructions on properly suiting up for desert spice production.

Dig the Yes Men too, and kindred merry pranksters. (still not digging Mourning Sedation from Smarmy McNews, for those tuning in at corporate)

Porter Melmoth said...

Right on, b!, Max Von S. could still get us out of this mess.